Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
