well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
