I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
