You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize