you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
