remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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