i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
