During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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