I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
