I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
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You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
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On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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