So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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