Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
