I molested 6 butterflies tonight
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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