he thought i was a dude.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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