His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize