How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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