call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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