I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
