ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
