three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
