she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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