just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
