Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
