You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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