Where is the hickey?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She yelled “outlaw country†right before we heard the police siren
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