I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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