He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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