I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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