Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
