just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
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