So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
