He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
