Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Do vagina's smell?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
