I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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