he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
