I feel like I'm in dance class right now
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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