Duck Duck Cougar?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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