Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
