Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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