yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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