I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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