His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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