I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
