I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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