this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
