But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
