For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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