doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
