haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
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he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I just blew my weed a kiss
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
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tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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