I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I am in a vortex of obligation.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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