just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
