We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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