Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
