so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
