hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
