So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
