the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
She needs sedatives and a leash
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
