the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
